Gel de Douche.

When I was ten, my grandmother and I took a rare trip to the Grand Island Mall. (There were other people along on this trip, but for the purposes of this story there were not.) Around that time in my life, I was really "into" bath gels. I believed that the cooler the bottle, the prettier the gel would make me. (Even though after using said gel I still had a mushroom hair-cut and glasses. But I FELT really pretty.) So when I spied an elaborate display of brightly colored bath gels, I pointed them out to my grandma like the pro I was. "Look, Grandma! These are BATH GELS. It's like, soap, but really cool soap." 

Apparently, Grandma had seen gels like these before. "This stuff [the gels] will give you VAGINITIS. If it's cheap like this and you sit in it, you can get VAGINITIS. And that stuff [the vaginitis] won't go away." 

Fortunately, I had read a Baby-Sitter's Club book where Kristy had appendicitis, and I knew "itis" meant "the swelling of". I also knew enough about vaginas to know that the swelling of one was most likely not a good thing.

After that conversation with Grandma, I probably should have gone back to plain old soap. But hey- I live my life on the edge. And on the other side of that edge is a nasty case of vaginitis. So I better be really careful.