Worse Than TSS.

Surprisingly, my mother never warned me about TSS, or "Toxic Shock Syndrome" (the thing ladies can get if Mr. Tampon stays in for too long).

Instead, she told me this story about a smelly girl nobody liked:

Once upon a time, in a small Nebraska town, a girl's volleyball team was plagued by a TERRIBLE stench. This stench inflitrated the locker room, the gym, the cafeteria- everywhere the team went. Parents complained, so lockers we cleaned out with bleach and uniforms were washed in hot water. But to no avail. The stench persisted. Then one day, a girl on the team ended up with terrible cramps and had to go to the hospital. The doctor opened her up and found a rotten and decaying tampon inside of her which was the cause of the offending stench.

TSS? Whatever. Being the cause of a PTA meeting about a stench? Now there's a reason to double check if Mr. Tampon has successfully left the building.